College life is depressing

                               
                              
Philippians 3:14 <3 // bracelet from : Arteh
They think I'm stupid.... I feel stupid. 

Am I stupid?


                             It's been pretty tough for the past two weeks for me. College life is different- waaaay different. 

In highschool, I was a big fish stuck in a small pond.
But in college, I am just a fish........ lost in an ocean.

I've been having emotional breakdowns every now and then. Out of nowhere, depressions just kick in, together with stress and anxiety.

The results of my quizzes are ugly.
Math is torturing me.
My first ever long test in Philosophy is crap.
People think of me as a joke--- and it's not even funny.


I feel stupid. Am I stupid? 
I am underestimated. They see me as one ordinary, naive little girl who likes to play dress up. 
No one takes me seriously.

They think I'm stupid. And ordinary. And naive.

I feel stupid. Am I stupid?
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Have you ever experienced that unexplainable moment when God just whispers something to you? Well, I can't elaborate on it much further. But, I genuinely felt that the Lord was trying to tell me to hold on to His Word. 

While I was having an emotional break down last Thursday (because I flunked the Philo long test which EVERYONE ELSE thought was easy), He gave me Philippians 3:14. I did not know anything about that verse. I didn't even know it existed. But I just wrote it on my hand so that I won't forget. When I got home, I Googled it up and found this:

Philippians  3:14 : "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
                             
A simpler version would be:

[NLT]: I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (NLT-Tyndale House)

Lord, I don't really understand what's happening (with me) right now, but all I know is that You have plans for me, and that everything will be better in time.

 These are all just trials and obstacles; these are just part  of the race.
 You are preparing me for something BIGGER and BETTER than my wildest dreams. Lord, I just want to tell you that I trust in you and in your Good and Pleasing Will. 

And that is why I am fighting towards the end of the race.....

Because I know that you are running it with me.



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