There are times I'd dream of glorious soaring. I would overlook giant trees, traverse majestic mountains, and admire the beauty of the world in silence. But as I would ascend higher into the clouds, my wings would eventually go numb. And then they would break. And I would hopelessly come spiraling down to Earth.
These are the days I feel lonely.
There are moments I'd crave warmth, and attention, and a hand to hold on to or an ear to whisper secrets to or a shoulder to rest on. But I am all alone, with no Clyde to my Bonnie, no Salt to my Pepper, and no PB to my J.
There are times I would feel like I've got so much love up my sleeve, but with no one to give it to. And that thought would scare me. And I would go around chasing after potential lovers. But then we we would figure out our pieces don't and won't ever fit, and the next thing we'd know, everything's too late. Pieces of me, and pieces of him, broken. Shattered like glass bits scattered all over the floor.
And that's where I learned my lesson: love doesn't need to be rushed. It's not a race. And it's not a competition.
Love takes time to grow. And love takes time to bloom.
And this is the part where I make a vow.
To my future partner-in-crime, my future lover: I promise to patiently wait for you. I still wonder why I couldn't meet you any sooner, but I know that God is still preparing you and me for each other. And one day, eight, ten, or even fifteen years from now, everything will make sense. And one day, I will let you read this, and we'll realize that all the waiting was worth it. And we will love hold each other's hand and never let go. Ever.
But until then, there is still so much to do—things that involve a lot of learning. A lot of accepting. And a whole lot of forgiving.
So until then, I will bask in the beauty of being alone; revel in the wonderful, amazing discoveries my soul has yet to find.
Most importantly, I will listen.
To the wisdom of nature. To the desires of my heart. And to that Big Guy up there, who loves me with the kind of love that never dies. Never fails. And never destroys.
And as I take my time to grow, I realize that there is nothing to be afraid of anymore. There is no need to be anxious.
And now it is time for me to take off. And fly.
In line with my #the20FirstsProject, I went solo traveling for the very first time. I am so damn proud of myself for doing this.
What is #The20FirstsProject? Our Firsts, either blessings or lessons, would always hold a special place in our hearts. Our Firsts help keep us going; they help us get up from bed and look forward to what adventures await us. So here's to experiencing new things every day. And most of all, here's to enjoying our own personal journeys, and learning the lessons from the Best Teacher Out There—Life.
Join the movement! Let's celebrate learnings! Let's celebrate our Firsts!