Dawn is nearing.
I am exhausted.
I lie in bed, tossing and turning, fluffing pillows in between.
I can’t keep my eyes shut, so I put on a sleep mask. (A teal one, inspired by Audrey Hepburn.) But alas, the garter wrapped around my head feels too tight. It starts to become annoying. I feel stupid, and take it off in less than five minutes (how does Audrey make it look so chic?)
I stare at the ceiling and sigh.
I toss in bed yet again, grabbing another pillow, carefully placing it in between my thighs.
I try to think of happy thoughts, but all that comes in my mind is a list of things I’ve yet to do. It’s long. And endless. I do not know where to start and how to begin.
I feel like I’m running out of time.
What am I chasing after?
Has life always been this fast-paced?
I try to clear my mind, but I am consumed with my thoughts.
I breathe in. I try to sleep, and begin to count sheep.
1, 2, 3…
Thoughts start piling up one after another.
4, 5, 6…
It’s growing taller…and taller…and taller…
I am now facing a mountain! I look up and I see it touching the clouds. It seems impossible to overcome. How will I reach its summit?
Am I happy? Maybe.
But I’ve read somewhere that people can be happy but also unsatisfied.
Maybe I’m one of them.
But then again, maybe I’m not.
Is this what you call a quarter-life crisis? Probably.
Am I pursuing my purpose?
Am I living a life with meaning?
I think and think and think, but I do not have answers.
I only know that I am exhausted—
but I cannot sleep.
I look out the window
and Dawn has arrived.
Photo by Raphael Brasileiro via Pexels